Intake and Outtake and Breath...

The Nerve-Wracking Journey of Art Intake and Pickup

As an artist, the process of taking your artwork in for intake and later picking it up can be a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s a journey filled with anticipation, anxiety, and ultimately, a sense of accomplishment. Let’s delve into why this process can be so nerve-wracking and how to navigate it with grace.
The Anticipation of Intake The moment you decide to submit your artwork for an exhibition or gallery display, a mix of excitement and nerves sets in. You’ve poured your heart and soul into your creation, and now it’s time to share it with the world. The anticipation builds as you prepare your piece for intake. Will it be accepted? Will it be appreciated?
Preparation is Key: Ensure your artwork is properly framed, labeled, and accompanied by any necessary documentation. This preparation can help ease some of the anxiety, knowing that you’ve done everything you can to present your work professionally.

The Anxiety of Submission Walking into the gallery or exhibition space with your artwork in hand can be daunting. The fear of judgment looms large. What if they don’t like it? What if it doesn’t fit with the other pieces? These thoughts can be overwhelming.
Stay Positive: Remember that art is subjective. What one person may not appreciate, another might love. Trust in your vision and the effort you’ve put into your work.

Motivation Monday Continued

Good Monday morning. I realize I need to catch up and share my updates, but I believe everything happens for a reason. Looking back, one month was too early for an update. I appreciate your patience and understanding as I navigate this journey. Your unwavering support means the world to me, and I want to express my heartfelt gratitude for every one of you.
As I reach day 51, seven weeks and one day of my journey, I want to share that it hasn't been a smooth ride. There were days when my mind and body resisted, but my determination prevailed, allowing me to continue my journey. This victory over daily struggles and my higher power keeps me going. My progress inspires you to keep pushing forward in your journey.
I had a more challenging time during the first four weeks than during the last three. My chronic illness does cause difficult days, so fighting through and getting ready for the day has helped in many directions but also caused more challenging days. I do plan to dive deeper into all that in a future post. Today, I want to connect to show that I am still trying this out and share a picture of my demeanor on days 1, 49, and 50. I also encourage you to try it because I am thrilled with the outcome thus far.
I'm excited to share more about my journey in the future, so please stay tuned. I messed up on my sign for day 49. Embracing vulnerability, my husband and I were out of town for our anniversary trip, and I stink at math, to say the least. I hope you can see the difference as I feel it. Remember, we're in this together.

Reality Rita with The Art of Slowing Down: A Life Lesson Worth Embracing

 

Let me be Reality Rita for a moment. I want to discuss the most valuable lesson I have learned so far—okay, maybe two. This one is most important by far, and that is to slow down. In today’s fast-paced world, we’re often caught in a whirlwind of activities, constantly moving from one task to the next. But what if the most essential life lesson is to slow down? Slowing down can profoundly transform our lives, helping us make fewer mistakes, experience less regret, and appreciate the beauty around us.

Life goes fast when we wake up; we’re bombarded with notifications, deadlines, and responsibilities. It’s easy to get swept away in the rush, but this constant hustle can lead to burnout and a sense of unfulfillment. We can savor each moment by intentionally slowing down and living in the present. This doesn’t mean we stop being productive; instead, we become more mindful of how we spend our time. I remember a time when I was juggling multiple projects at once. I was constantly on the go, trying to meet deadlines and keep up with my responsibilities. It wasn’t until I took a step back and started prioritizing my tasks that I realized how much I was missing out on. By slowing down, I could focus better, make fewer mistakes, and enjoy the process more.

When we’re always in a hurry, mistakes are inevitable. We might overlook details, make hasty decisions, or forget important tasks. Slowing down allows us to approach our work and personal lives more clearly and precisely. By thinking things through, we can avoid unnecessary errors and make more thoughtful choices. One of the most significant changes I noticed when I started slowing down was the reduction in mistakes. I used to rush through my work, often needing more essential details. Now, I try to take my time to review everything carefully, and the quality of my work has improved significantly.

Regret often stems from actions taken in haste. Whether it’s a harsh word spoken in anger or a rushed decision that didn’t turn out well, these moments can haunt us. Slowing down gives us the space to reflect before we act, reducing the chances of doing something we’ll later regret. It encourages us to be more deliberate and considerate in our interactions and decisions. I once quickly decided to take on a project I wasn’t passionate about simply because I felt pressured to say yes. It ended up being a stressful experience that I regretted. Since then, I’ve learned to take my time before committing to anything and say no if necessary, ensuring it aligns with my values and interests.

One of the most significant benefits of slowing down is appreciating the world around us. When we’re not constantly rushing, we can notice the small joys in life—a beautiful sunset, a child’s laughter, or a quiet moment of solitude. This mindfulness helps us cultivate gratitude and find contentment in the present moment. Slowing down has allowed me to appreciate the little things in life. I now take regular walks in nature, enjoying the sights and sounds around me. These moments of mindfulness have brought a sense of peace and gratitude that I never experienced before.

For many, leaning on a higher power provides comfort and guidance. Whether through prayer, meditation, or simply believing in something greater than ourselves, this connection can offer strength and clarity. Trusting in a higher power can help us navigate life’s challenges with peace and purpose. During difficult times, I’ve found solace in my faith. When I slow down and take time to connect with my higher power, I feel a sense of calm and reassurance. This practice has helped me make more thoughtful decisions and approach life with a more positive outlook.

Here are some practical tips for slowing down,

1. Prioritize Your Activities: Focus on what’s important and let go of the rest. Not everything needs to be done immediately.
2. Disconnect from Technology: Take regular breaks from your devices to reconnect with yourself and your surroundings.
3. Practice Mindfulness: Engage in activities that promote mindfulness, such as meditation, yoga, or simply taking a walk in nature.
4. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to commitments that don’t align with your values or goals.
5. Take Intentional Pauses: Throughout your day, take moments to pause, breathe, and reflect.

Slowing down isn't about doing less; it's about engaging in activities with intention and presence. By adopting this approach, we can lead more fulfilling, balanced, and joyful lives. I invite you to accompany me on this journey as I learn to cultivate patience within myself.

Feel Good FriYay!

Today is Friday, a perfect day to embrace positivity and gratitude. As you celebrate the end of the week, take a moment to reflect on the simple pleasures that bring you joy. Jot down three things you're thankful for – it could be the sunshine, a cup of warm tea, or a kind smile from a stranger. Keep your list short and sweet, and place it somewhere visible to serve as a gentle reminder throughout the day to feel good and cherish the little things.

Cherishing moments with loved ones can elevate your mood and enhance your Friday experience. Engage in sharing a chuckle, an anecdote, or a heartfelt dialogue. Social bonds are a boon to our emotional well-being. And if you need a quick pick-me-up, watching puppy videos is a surefire way to brighten your day.

Remember, our day is shaped by our actions and reactions to the uncontrollable. Life is a journey filled with highs and lows. Practice patience with yourself and cherish the fleeting moments of happiness. Smile today, celebrate that it is Friday, and try to remember this quote. Friday: "Every day is a gift. But some days are packaged better." -Sanhita Baruah

Falling Off Track into Depression: My Journey

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Life can be incredibly challenging at times, and for many of us, navigating the ups and downs can sometimes lead to feeling off track and lost. For me, this struggle manifested in the form of depression, and I'd like to share my journey with you in the hopes that it may offer some comfort or insight to those who may be going through similar experiences.

 Falling off track into depression was a bewildering and isolating experience. It crept up on me slowly, like a dark cloud moving in front of the sun, and before I knew it, I found myself engulfed in a sense of hopelessness and apathy. Simple tasks that used to bring me joy became insurmountable obstacles, and I struggled to find meaning and purpose in my days. I had been here before and hated to know I had returned. 

One of the most complex parts of this experience was feeling as though I was alone in my battle. It's important to remember that depression can affect anyone, regardless of their external circumstances or perceived strength. Seeking help was a significant turning point for me. Opening up to a trusted friend or professional about what I was going through was a crucial step in my recovery process. Talking about my feelings and experiences helped me realize that I wasn't alone and that there were people who cared about me and wanted to support me through my struggles. Even though I know this, I can't seem to understand it when I am suffering. 

Finding healthy coping mechanisms was another essential aspect of my journey. Engaging in regular exercise, meditation, and creative outlets gave me a sense of purpose and helped me regain control over my life. It's essential to experiment and find what works best for you, as everyone's journey to healing is unique.

In addition, challenging my negative thought patterns was crucial in reorienting my perspective. Exploring therapy and cognitive behavioral techniques gave me the tools to recognize and reframe my negative thinking patterns, allowing me to develop a more positive and adaptive mindset.

Lastly, building a solid support network was indispensable in my recovery. Surrounding myself with understanding and empathetic individuals who offered unconditional support and encouragement was pivotal in my healing process. It is not always easy, but it is possible. Connecting with others who had experienced similar struggles helped me feel less isolated and gave me hope for the future.

While my journey through depression is undoubtedly challenging, it has also been incredibly transformative. I've learned to be more compassionate toward myself and others, and I've gained a deeper understanding of the complexities of mental health. Suppose you find yourself feeling off track and struggling with depression. In that case, I encourage you to seek help, explore healthy coping mechanisms, challenge negative thought patterns, and build a supportive network around you. You are not alone; hope and healing await you on the other side of this challenging journey, no matter how often you find yourself in this position. 

Holiday Toll Taken, Don’t Forget

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Holidays can be challenging, right? I've been thinking about Mother's Day, Father's Day, and Valentine's Day lately. There are times when I wish these holidays didn't exist. They can take a toll on our mental well-being and wallets. As I get older, I feel more emotional during these celebrations. I thought it would be the opposite. I thought I would grow used to them not being here, but with every accomplishment, from the kids to the grandkids, I will start wishing my loved ones could be here to celebrate with us more than ever, causing a flood of memories and emotions.

Dealing with the loss of my father to suicide makes these holidays even more challenging for me. It's stressful to pick out gifts and cards for others because it reminds me of my father and his situation. Sometimes, my kids don't fully understand how these holidays affect me. Getting to see them can make a big difference, but sometimes, I don't even get a phone call. It breaks my heart and makes an already challenging time almost unbearable. I am trying to take my time and figure out how to address this issue when I am not feeling so hurt. With my Bipolar Disorder, I then start picking myself to pieces, trying to figure out what I did. Not to put all the weight on my children, I am just saying that seeing them on those holidays would help soften the rest.

I understand that people dealing with mental health issues may find the holidays to be more challenging. The holidays can affect our mental health in various ways depending on our circumstances. It's upsetting to think that others may be experiencing even more pain than I am.

It's important to acknowledge these potential challenges and take steps to manage stress and maintain mental health during the holiday season. If the stress worsens, consider setting realistic expectations, maintaining healthy habits, and seeking support when needed. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your well-being and set boundaries that help you enjoy the holidays to the fullest.

You can try these ideas to help during these difficult times such as holidays.

Practice self-care

• Schedule time for yourself and activities that recharge your mind and body. These can include regular exercise, eating healthy meals, staying hydrated, and making sleep a priority.

Practice mindfulness

• Try mindfulness, meditation, or deep breathing to calm your mind and slow your heart rate.

Take a break

• If news or social media are causing you stress, take a break. You can also try to follow a regular schedule daily and build time for breaks.

I know these sound almost too simple, but they really do help. Mindfulness helps me more than any of them, but I usually need a little of each.

Please remember that we all need Grace from others and Grace for ourselves throughout the year and holidays, not just at Christmas. Here's a reminder to help you through this Father's Day.

Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

Loreta Laroche

Watch Him Work

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I didn't know for a long time what it meant to see God at work until I slowed down enough to pay attention. When I think about Jesus working, I used to imagine seeing physical work being done, but that's not how it is. It's happening undercover, and today, I finally understood it.

I want to share this with you because today, I witnessed what I believe to be a higher power at work; I was right in the middle of it. I had been feeling really down and stressed because of my bipolar disorder. I didn't want to go to the doctor, leave the house, or deal with all the things that come with leaving the house. But as soon as I left, I didn't encounter any traffic. It felt like a ghost town whenever I tried to pull onto the road. Auburn is incredibly chaotic to drive in, but there wasn't a sight when pulling out of Taco Bell, Dunkin' Donuts, the Doctor's, or Doctor the gas station. I was able to get everything done with ease. If you can't see The Lord helping me in that, then I fear you can't see can't.

How Quick Are You?

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How fast do you write your blog? Do you work on it tirelessly, or do you use it as a notepad? I live with Bipolar II disorder with rapid cycling, and let me tell you, finding that balance feels impossible. I think this could apply to anyone, but it's an even more significant challenge for those battling daily mental health issues. It also brings to my mind the topic I've already mentioned: obedience and faith.

My realization that I needed to lean more on my faith and obey without questioning led me to finally start these blogs. I'm grateful for the chance to emphasize the purpose of this blog and studio: to bring art, photography, genealogy, history, writing, faith, mental health, and self-care together in one comforting space. It is also a place that holds me accountable and transparent. 

I write my blog in two different ways. However, to be more organized and to help with my battles with my mental health, I have been trying to use Google Keep as my notepad and avoid having a dozen drafts on Blogger. I need to decide where to blog from, as I am currently blogging on three platforms. This reflects one of the struggles of having Bipolar II Disorder. Instead of using the existing blog, I have started new ones twice. Having too many blogs is just confusing and more work than needed as the structure is one of the most significant aids to help with bipolar disorder. Keeping it simple is critical, no matter what your mind tries to tell you. 

I've been thinking about this while learning about blogging. I realized that I need to have faith and be better at listening to what God is trying to tell me. I need to improve at obeying and trusting blindly. This is a journey of rehabilitation after diagnosis, and I can see it coming full circle. It was leaning on my faith and being obedient that allowed me to begin this journey. I must keep reminding myself to go with what God puts in my heart and not question it. That means the answer to my question is to write whatever your higher power gives you whenever you get it, no matter how long it takes. "All in God's time" is what I need to make as one of my daily mantras.

Bipolar Coaster: Navigating the Emotional Ride

Photo Credit- April W. Holdridge Photography

Living with bipolar disorder can feel like being on a relentless rollercoaster, with its erratic highs and lows akin to the sensation of veering on and off the tracks. The continuous cycle of bipolar disorder resembles a never-ending ride, with its unpredictable ups and downs reflecting the feeling of being on and off a track. I hope this analogy helps you understand what living with bipolar disorder is like from my perspective.

Imagine climbing the steep incline of a roller coaster. At the top, you’re invincible—ideas flow, energy surges, and creativity soars. This is mania. You’re riding high, making impulsive decisions, and feeling like you can conquer the world. But beware—the descent awaits. 

Suddenly, the track drops. You plummet into the abyss of depression. The world turns gray, and every step feels like wading through quicksand. Motivation evaporates, and even getting out of bed becomes a Herculean task. You wonder if the ride will ever end. 

Sometimes, the coaster twists unexpectedly. You’re simultaneously up and down—mixed states. Racing thoughts collide with despair. You’re agitated yet lethargic, laughing and crying in the same breath. It’s disorienting, like riding backward through a loop. 

After the chaos, the coaster ascends again. This time, it’s a gradual climb toward stability. Medication, therapy, and self-care help level the track. You learn to recognize triggers and manage symptoms. The ride evens out, and you catch glimpses of normalcy.

 At the plateau, the coaster glides smoothly. This is euthymia, where emotions settle into a manageable range. You appreciate the view—the sun on your face, the wind in your hair. It’s not thrilling, but it’s sustainable. You savor the moments of calm. 

Between peaks and valleys, there are tunnels—times when you retreat inward. You reflect on your journey, question your resilience, and find hidden strength. These tunnels are essential for growth. They remind you that the ride isn’t just about highs and lows—it’s about self-discovery. 

Every roller coaster has safety bars. In life, these are your support systems: friends, family, therapists, and support groups. They hold you steady during the loops and reassure you that you’re not alone. Reach out; let them be your safety net.

#bipolar #mentalhealth #rollercoaster 

Digesting Beauty

Time digesting beauty, 

A longing beckons my soul, 

Making my heart envious of places I have been to before. 

Waiting patiently to return. 

Through a lens, a love was born while walking the path Papa adorned.

 -K.Sidebottom

Time Warp

 If you don't understand what a time warp is or what it is like, then try suffering from bipolar disorder. It provides firsthand experience. 

Truthfully, I understood the concept of a time warp, but I didn't recognize that I was experiencing it firsthand until after my diagnosis and subsequent research into my disorder.

Autopilot is a state of being mentally absent and not fully present. It's important to acknowledge this concept and ensure our loved ones understand it, too, as this is a time when someone might have trouble remembering.

The term "autopilot" in the context of mental health often refers to a state where a person goes through their daily activities without much conscious thought or engagement, almost as if they are on cruise control. Autopilot can connect to mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, or burnout, where individuals may feel emotionally detached or overwhelmed.

Going on autopilot can sometimes be a coping mechanism, but it can become unhealthy if it leads to disengagement from meaningful activities and interactions. It's important to recognize when autopilot becomes a predominant mode of operation.

If you feel like you're living on autopilot, try reconnecting with your present experiences and those around you. Engaging in mindfulness practices, setting small daily goals, and seeking support from friends, family, or mental health professionals can help break the autopilot cycle and improve overall well-being.

One mindfulness technique I lean on the most is Mindful Observation: Choose an object—a flower, a tree, or any everyday item—and spend a few minutes observing it closely. Notice its color, texture, shape, and other characteristics. Engage your senses, allowing yourself to be fully present with the object. This practice helps shift your attention away from automatic thinking patterns and encourages mindful awareness. I will discuss the variety of mindfulness practices in a separate blog article. 

Here is what your loved one needs to know to help you. It requires empathy, patience, and a willingness to understand their experiences. They can provide adequate support by:

Educating Themselves: Learn about the distinctive mental health conditions they are dealing with. Comprehending the symptoms and challenges can help you furnish better support.

Listen Without Judgment: Offer an open ear and listen to their experiences and feelings without trying to fix them immediately. Just being heard can be very comforting.

Validate Their Feelings: Acknowledge their feelings and battles. Validation can make them feel understood and less isolated. 

These are just a few things you should share with your loved one. I will post another article or two focusing on this subject. 

You can add things to your daily routine to help you stay in the moment, like mindful waking up, disconnecting from screens, and practicing gratitude daily. I will gather the data and post it as well. 

It's important to remember that seeking help and dedicating time to mental health care is perfectly acceptable. If you or someone you know is experiencing difficulties, contacting a healthcare professional can offer personalized guidance and support.

Learn more 1themighty.com 2psychologytoday.com 3medium.com 4idontmind.com 5calmsage.com 6bing.com

Timewarp Autopilot

In the quiet halls of routine, Where seconds stretch like overpraise strands, Autopilot whispers its lullaby, Steering us through life’s shifting sands.

We wake, we work, we sip our coffee, the bags of existence crumbling down. Yet hidden within this temporal spiral lies a secret path where dreams can grow. -K.Sidebottom

Obey! Can you?

I've decided to embrace the word "obey" as my guiding principle for the year. As I ventured into this new chapter of my life, I chose to start afresh. The word "obey" came to me after a heartfelt prayer, and since then, I've noticed numerous meaningful coincidences. It prompted me to reflect on the times when I didn't follow through with what I felt compelled to do.

I had been praying for guidance to enhance my painting skills and create art that would honor God when the story of the Good Samaritan came to mind. I felt a strong urge to paint that particular scene. Although I made several sketches, I never finished or even came close to completing the painting. I eventually stowed it away and left it untouched for a long time. When I revisited my prayer for the same inspiration, I realized I had failed to act on the creative impulse my higher power had bestowed upon me.

During my darkest moments before receiving my diagnosis, I try not to be too hard on myself. If you've experienced something similar, I urge you to be compassionate towards yourself. The crucial point is that I didn't follow through with painting the deeply ingrained image in my heart and mind. I felt disheartened and contemplated giving up on my artistic endeavors altogether.

Dealing with my condition, the fluctuating effects of new medications, and my disobedience was an arduous journey. I found myself praying for something that I already had. Fortunately, with the help of the Lord, I unraveled the underlying reasons for my struggles, sought assistance, and began my path to recovery.

It wasn't easy; I spent most of my time sleeping for about a year and a half. I tried various combinations of medications before finding a regimen that seemed to alleviate my symptoms without making me feel like a zombie. I still require adjustments and changes in medication, but it's not as challenging as it was initially. It feels like I've emerged from a terrible nightmare; I can barely recall the majority of the last two years. I'm aware that others with Bipolar Disorder can relate to the feeling of being unable to recognize or lose chunks of their lives.

As I regained my footing and continued to pray for guidance, I found myself drawn to the idea of letting "obey" be my guiding light. It dawned on me that I had yet to heed the guidance of the Lord (my higher power), and it was time to change that, even if I got knocked off track.

My question for you is, what is your guiding word? Are you "obeying" your higher power and following your heart? Please remember that we all get knocked off track, but what is essential is that we get back on. That is why, after many attempts, I am posting this article. I will leave you with this quote: "You can only learn what obedience is by obeying."

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

                                                           April W. Holdridge Photography

Tiggers

 

WORDS AND TERMS WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN

TO END THE STIGMA, WE SHOULD ALL KNOW THESE TERMS AND WORDS. PLEASE SHARE WHAT WE LEARN.

As we begin reading “Mindfulness for Bipolar Disorder,” we will create a glossary of terms pertinent to not only bipolar disorder but also mental health at large. This compilation will grow as we delve deeper into understanding mental health, mental health disorders, and suicide prevention. The glossary will be accessible on my webpage.

The term ‘trigger’ comes to mind. I hadn’t considered this word until after my diagnosis, but it has since surfaced repeatedly. I am committed to understanding more about triggers and their causes. As I gather information, I will share my findings, allowing us to learn together.

What I do know:

Trigger, (verb) cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist: “an allergy can be triggered by stress or overwork”. I had no idea but there are at least five different types of triggers.

• Psychological Triggers
• Environmental Triggers
• Cognitive Triggers
• Emotional Triggers
• Physical Triggers

We will examine various types of triggers and include them in our glossary. Today, I’m simply checking in to share what I’ve learned so far.

Sleep is crucial! My research and personal experience have taught me that insufficient sleep can be a trigger. For me, it’s the most significant one, as I deal with insomnia, which is common among individuals facing mental health challenges.

The mission for today is to read the intro to “Mindfulness for Bipolar Disorder,” and reflect on personal triggers. As I’ve come to understand, while we all have triggers, some are common across individuals, and others are uniquely shaped by personal circumstances.

You can find the book “Mindfulness for Bipolar Disorder” at various online retailers such as Amazon, eBay, and Book Depository. It’s always a good idea to compare prices on different platforms to find the best deal. Here is the link to Amazon, https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Bipolar-Disorder-Neuroscience-Symptoms/dp/1626251851 , I was not asked to boost about Thrift Books but I got to tell you if you have not checked them out you should as this blog is to help learn free or at a low cost. Here is their link for this book CLICK HERE!

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR TRIGGERS YOU WOULD LIKE TO ADD PLEASE EMAIL ME AT

Just Get Started

 I have been on a new journey and turned a new page this year. I am taking a positive step toward personal growth and healing. I am exploring different avenues for self-improvement, from reading books to watching videos and attending webinars. I hope the resources I uncover that have helped me will be helpful to you, and I will share them with you. I will keep everything straightforward and simple to read, cutting out all the boring stuff. Please know I support your journey towards better health and well-being.

 I have been educating myself in self-help, artistic growth, Christianity, mental health, writing, and becoming a certified genealogist on a budget. All the books, webinars, and videos I have referred to tell you the same thing: Just get started. So here we are, getting started together. https://holdapril77.wixsite.com/sleuth-matron-101 

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